INT. KITCHEN -- EVENING
A mother and daughter are standing in the kitchen looking
out the patio doors. It is sunny outside, it is
mid-September. MICHELLE (38), the mother, has short brown
hair. She works as a producer for a local television
network. She is holding a beer in her hand. JORDAN (16), the
daughter, has long brown hair. They are watching the pool
boy, JACOB, clean the pool. MICHELLE turns to JORDAN.
MICHELLE
Jordan, sweetie, you’d better go
start your homework.
JORDAN
But, Mom...
MICHELLE
No buts. Now, march.
JORDAN
Ugh.
JORDAN slowly goes upstairs to her room. MICHELLE watches
her to make sure she goes. She then turns back towards the
back yard. JACOB is bent over cleaning leaves off the bottom
of the pool.
MICHELLE
(to herself)
Well, maybe just one butt.
MICHELLE walks into the kitchen. She sets her beer down on
the counter and begins to pull ingredients out of the fridge
for dinner. KEVIN, her husband, walks in the front door.
KEVIN (40) has blond, surfer-like hair. He works as a
teacher. MICHELLE looks in the direction of the front door
to KEVIN. Without saying a word she reaches into the fridge
and pulls out a beer. She chucks it over to KEVIN as he
makes his way into the house. He catches it and pops the top
off the beer. He takes a swig.
KEVIN
Nice toss! How was your day?
KEVIN makes his way into the kitchen and leans on the
kitchen counter separating the living room from the kitchen.
MICHELLE
Pretty good. I had to save the
studio from a deadline crisis. No
big deal.
KEVIN
That’s my girl. Today, one of my
students thought Africa was a
country.
MICHELLE
Yeah?
KEVIN
Uh huh. I calmly corrected him.
MICHELLE
(disappointed)
Oh...
KEVIN
(smiling)
Nah. I laughed his ass out of my
classroom.
MICHELLE
Now that’s the man I married.
KEVIN and MICHELLE high-five. KEVIN takes a swig of his
beer.
MICHELLE
Oh. I got a call from Jordan’s
school today. Apparently she’s been
skipping class.
KEVIN
That’s awful. Isn’t it?
MICHELLE
I-I don’t really know. We used to
skip class all the time, but her
teacher isn’t really pleased.
KEVIN
I guess we should deal with this
then.
(calling upstairs)
Jordan, can you come down here for
a minute.
JORDAN walks down the stairs and stands in front of her
parents. KEVIN sets his beer down. MICHELLE walks around to
the other side of the kitchen counter and stands beside
KEVIN.
JORDAN
What’s up?
MICHELLE
Your school called. You skipped
class today. Again.
JORDAN
Yeah?
KEVIN
A bright girl like you shouldn’t be
skipping classes.
JORDAN
Why not? Those classes are so
boring.
MICHELLE turns to KEVIN.
MICHELLE
(whispering)
Why not?
KEVIN
(whispering back)
Hmm...Oh! I’ve got it.
KEVIN and MICHELLE turn back to JORDAN.
KEVIN
Because Santa Claus is always
watching and he doesn’t approve of
not going to class. You don’t want
lumps of coal for Christmas, do
you?
MICHELLE
(whispering to KEVIN)
Good one.
JORDAN
Dad, I’m a little old to still
believe in Santa.
KEVIN
(shocked)
Pardon?
MICHELLE puts her hand on KEVIN’S shoulder.
MICHELLE
Just go back upstairs, Jordan.
We’ll talk about this later.
JORDAN goes back upstairs to her room. She seems unfazed by
her parents. MICHELLE and KEVIN turn to each other.
MICHELLE
Did she just say what I think she
said?
KEVIN
Yeah. No Santa. But that means--
MICHELLE AND KEVIN
No Christmas!
MICHELLE
How horrible. We can’t have that
happen.
KEVIN
What are we going to do about this?
KEVIN and MICHELLE look perplexed. They are thinking about
what to do. MICHELLE’S face brightens and she smiles.
MICHELLE
I’ve got it!
INT. ATTIC -- DAY
MICHELLE and KEVIN are pulling out boxes of Christmas lights
and decorations.
MICHELLE
If we can capture the Christmas
spirit, maybe we can renew Jordan’s
belief in Santa.
KEVIN
Genius!
EXT. HOUSE -- DAY
The house is a small, two-story home. It is painted a pale
yellow. KEVIN is decorating the house with hundreds of
lights in true Griswold Christmas fashion.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- DAY
MICHELLE is decorating the inside of the house with
stockings, garland, and various decorations. She places a
few boxes of ornaments by the Christmas tree for later.
EXT. HOUSE -- EARLY EVENING
KEVIN is standing in front of the house admiring his work.
MICHELLE comes outside and stands beside him.
MICHELLE
Great work, sweetheart.
KEVIN
Mmhmm. But I feel like something’s
missing.
MICHELLE AND KEVIN
(pointing at each other)
Eggnog!
INT. KITCHEN -- EARLY EVENING
MICHELLE and KEVIN are leaning over the counter facing each
other. They are each drinking a glass of eggnog.
MICHELLE
This wasn’t it.
KEVIN
How could I have been so clueless.
MICHELLE looks at KEVIN questioningly.
KEVIN
You can’t have Christmas without
Santa!
MICHELLE
I like the way you think. If Jordan
sees Santa come down the chimney,
she’ll have to believe in him
again.
INT. BASEMENT
The basement is set up to be lived in. JEREMY (42) is
KEVIN’S brother who lives with the family. He has red hair
and a red beard to match. Over the course of his working
career he has held a multitude of jobs, all of which have
resulted in having to find a new job on a monthly, if not
weekly basis. Despite all of his troubles, he is always in a
jolly mood.
MICHELLE enters the basement where JEREMY is working on a
prototype for a remote controlled clown toy. The clown has a
giant grin painted on it’s face.
MICHELLE
Hey, Jeremy, do you still have that
Santa Claus suit from when you were
a mall Santa last year?
JEREMY
Sure do. It’s in the closet.
JEREMY walks over to his closet, which is packed with all
kinds of uniforms, accessories, tools, pie charts, etc. He
digs around and pulls out a bag containing the Santa suit.
He starts to hand it to MICHELLE.
JEREMY
Here you go.
JEREMY pulls his hand back for a moment.
JEREMY
Wait a minute, what do you need a
Santa costume for in the middle of
September? What are you up to?
MICHELLE
Jordan says she no longer believes
in Santa Claus, so Kevin and I are
trying to recreate the Christmas
spirit. That way we don’t have to
give up celebrating. Which brings
me to my next question.
JEREMY
No.
MICHELLE
What? But--
JEREMY
No. I am not climbing down the
chimney dressed up like Santa
Claus.
MICHELLE
(defeated)
Fine. But can I still get the
costume.
JEREMY
Of course. Good luck.
JEREMY hands MICHELLE the bag and goes back to focusing on
his prototype. MICHELLE, with bag in hand, climbs the stairs
back up to the living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- EVENING
MICHELLE enters the living room. KEVIN is sitting in the
living room with their friends ASHLEIGH (35) and JAMES (40).
They are sitting around drinking the eggnog KEVIN and
MICHELLE made earlier. KEVIN gets up from the couch and
hands MICHELLE a glass of eggnog.
KEVIN
Look who came to celebrate with us.
KEVIN gestures to ASHLEIGH and JAMES. He then looks at the
bag MICHELLE is holding.
KEVIN
Is that it?
MICHELLE
It sure is. But he said he wouldn’t
do it.
KEVIN and MICHELLE look towards the couch at JAMES.
JAMES
(laughing)
Don’t even think about it.
ASHLEIGH
Why don’t you guys just hire
someone to---
An engine roaring and sputtering drowns out what ASHLEIGH is
saying.
MICHELLE
What was that, Ash? I can’t hear
you over that stupid moped outside.
ASHLEIGH opens her mouth to speak, but before she can say
anything KEVIN grabs the bag with the costume inside from
MICHELLE and rushes out the door. JAMES, ASHLEIGH, and
MICHELLE look at each other, confused. KEVIN sticks his head
back through the front door.
KEVIN
You guys and Jordan start
decorating the tree. I will be
right back.
KEVIN disappears back outside.
EXT. HOUSE -- LATE EVENING
The house is lit up with hundreds of Christmas lights.
Combined together, it almost makes night look like day.
KEVIN walks across the front lawn to the neighbors’ house.
BRANDON (18), a plump awkward kid, is working on his moped
in his family’s driveway. KEVIN coughs to get BRANDON’S
attention. BRANDON turns to look at KEVIN.
BRANDON
Um, oh. Hi, Mr. Davidson.
KEVIN looks at BRANDON for a moment.
KEVIN
(mostly to himself)
Yes. You should work nicely.
BRANDON confusedly looks at KEVIN.
KEVIN
Here. Put this on.
KEVIN tosses the bag containing the Santa costume at
BRANDON. BRANDON looks inside the bag and slowly pulls out
its contents. BRANDON still looks confused. KEVIN sighs,
realizing he will have to explain his plan to BRANDON.
KEVIN
I need you to dress up as Santa
Claus and come down our chimney
when I signal for you. The wife and
I want to strengthen Jordan’s
Christmas spirit. You wouldn’t want
to disappoint Jordan, would you?
KEVIN knows that BRANDON has a major crush on JORDAN, and
would practically do anything to get her to like him.
BRANDON
Um, well, if it’s for Jordan. I
guess I could do it...
KEVIN
Great! Now, put that suit on and
climb up to my roof. The ladder is
in the shed. I will come outside to
let you know when to climb down the
chimney.
KEVIN turns around and heads back to the house. BRANDON
stands and watches him walk away. He looks down into the bag
and sighs.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
MICHELLE, JORDAN, ASHLEIGH, JAMES, JACOB, and JEREMY are
decorating the tree. JACOB is dressed up as a Christmas elf.
KEVIN enters the house and walks over to MICHELLE.
KEVIN
(to MICHELLE)
It’s done. Brandon is waiting
outside.
MICHELLE nods. KEVIN walks over to JORDAN who is hanging an
ornament on the tree. He puts his hand on her shoulder.
KEVIN
The tree is looking great.
JORDAN
Thanks Dad. But I still don’t get
why we--
KEVIN
(interrupting. excited)
Did you hear that?
JORDAN
What? I didn’t--
KEVIN
I had better go outside and take a
look.
KEVIN makes a dash towards the back door. He stops before he
opens the door and looks back.
KEVIN
Everybody stay here.
KEVIN exits the house and goes into the back yard. JORDAN
looks confused. JAMES and ASHLEIGH look at each other as if
trying to figure out what is going on. MICHELLE and JEREMY
exchange knowing glances. JACOB looks down at his elf
costume and shrugs.
EXT. BACKYARD -- NIGHT
KEVIN looks around and spots BRANDON climbing up the ladder.
KEVIN
Come on. Don’t keep my baby girl
waiting.
BRANDON reaches the roof. He climbs off the ladder and looks
at the chimney. He looks back down at KEVIN.
BRANDON
Uh, Mr. Davidson? I don’t want to
do this anymore.
KEVIN
Nonsense. Just climb on in that
chimney and you’ll slide on down.
BRANDON looks back at the chimney and back to KEVIN.
BRANDON
I-I, um...
KEVIN scurries up the ladder to the roof.
KEVIN
Here, I’ll come help you.
KEVIN reaches the top and leads BRANDON to the chimney.
KEVIN
It’s simple, kid. You just climb
right in and you will slowly slide
to the bottom. No problems.
BRANDON leans over and looks down the chimney.
BRANDON
I don’t know. It looks far. Are you
sure this is safe?
KEVIN
Of course it is.
A smile creeps across KEVIN’S face. KEVIN pushes BRANDON
from behind. BRANDON falls into the chimney. KEVIN rushes
down the ladder and back into the house so he can see the
surprise on JORDAN’S face.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
KEVIN bursts through the back door. Everybody in the room
stops what they are doing and stares back at KEVIN. KEVIN
scans the room to realize that BRANDON is not there.
KEVIN
Where is he?
JORDAN
Where’s who?
KEVIN
Br--Santa. I just saw him go down
the chimney.
JORDAN
Uh, Dad?
Muffled screams for help are heard coming from the chimney.
JAMES walks over to the chimney and looks up it.
JAMES
Bro, I don’t think Santa made it
all the way down.
JEREMY, MICHELLE, ASHLEIGH, JORDAN, and JACOB rush over to
the chimney to have a look.
MICHELLE
Honey, you might need to come see
this.
KEVIN walks over and looks up the chimney.
KEVIN
What are you doing up there, boy?
This was not part of the plan. Stop
playing around and come on down.
BRANDON
(muffled words)
KEVIN
Pardon?
BRANDON
I’m stuck!
KEVIN
Well hang on. We’ll get you out.
(to everybody)
Any ideas?
ASHLEIGH
See if you can reach him.
KEVIN reaches his arms up into the chimney. He frowns and
takes them back out.
KEVIN
It’s no use. He’s too far up.
MICHELLE
What if we butter him up? He’d slip
right out.
KEVIN
Butter? That’s a fantastic idea.
Melt some and meet me on the roof.
EXT. ROOF -- NIGHT
KEVIN is looking down at BRANDON stuck in the chimney.
MICHELLE climbs up to the roof with a big bowl of melted
butter in her hand.
MICHELLE
Hang tight. We’ll have you out in
just a second.
KEVIN
Get ready. Here it comes.
BRANDON
Here what comes? What’s going on?
MICHELLE dumps the whole bowl of melted butter down the
chimney.
MICHELLE
(to KEVIN)
Did he slide down?
KEVIN looks down the chimney at BRANDON. KEVIN shakes his
head.
KEVIN
He’s still there.
(to BRANDON)
Can you wiggle free?
BRANDON doesn’t answer.
MICHELLE
Right then. Plan C.
KEVIN
I have the rope.
(to BRANDON)
Grab hold of the rope and we’ll
pull you out.
BRANDON
(quietly)
Mm Hmm.
KEVIN drops the rope down the chimney. The rope makes a
small thud as it reached BRANDON. MICHELLE and KEVIN grab
the end of the rope and start to pull. The rope doesn’t
budge. They look at each other and then back at the rope.
They tug the rope once more. It still does not budge.
MICHELLE
It’s no use.
KEVIN
He’s just too fat. Maybe if we got
more people to help--
MICHELLE
If we can’t pull him out, no one
can.
KEVIN
True. What do we do now?
KEVIN and MICHELLE look at each other while trying to come
up with a plan. JAMES comes out of the house and calls up to
KEVIN and MICHELLE.
JAMES
Hey, guys.
MICHELLE and KEVIN look down from the roof at JAMES.
JAMES
I called the fire department. They
should be here any minute.
MICHELLE AND KEVIN
Hooray for plan D!
EXT. BACKYARD -- NIGHT
MICHELLE, KEVIN, JAMES, JEREMY, JORDAN, ASHLEIGH, and JACOB
are standing in the back yard watching the firemen pull
BRANDON out of the chimney. The fireman carries BRANDON down
the ladder and places him on the ground. BRANDON is covered
in butter and soot. He sulks home. Everybody waves the
firemen off as they leave, shaking their heads and hiding
their smiles.
MICHELLE
So much for our plan.
KEVIN
(to JORDAN)
I’m sorry we failed. I guess there
really will be no Christmas this
year.
JORDAN
Is that what this was all about?
Mom. Dad. Just because I don’t
believe in Santa Claus doesn’t mean
we have to stop having Christmas.
KEVIN
It doesn’t?
JORDAN
In fact, let’s have Christmas this
year.
MICHELLE puts her arm around KEVIN
MICHELLE
I love our child.
JEREMY has been deep in thought throughout the conversation.
Suddenly he breaks into the conversation.
JEREMY
I’ve got it!
Everybody turns to look at JEREMY.
JEREMY
My job.
MICHELLE
What happened to the toy you were
working on?
JEREMY
They said it was too scary for
children.
ASHLEIGH
So what’s your plan now?
KEVIN
Oh, let us guess. A chef at Red
Lobster?
JAMES
A fireman?
JEREMY
No. A chimney sweep.
JEREMY smiles. Proud of his new career decision. KEVIN looks
around at everyone.
KEVIN
I’m glad everything worked out so
well. And that everyone we love
could help out.
KEVIN puts his arm around JAMES.
MICHELLE
(to KEVIN)
Don’t we have a son?
(to KEVIN)
Don’t we have a son?
KEVIN and MICHELLE look at each other for a moment and then
shrug and smile.
FADE OUT.
